


The Problem with Power

by BookshopLaura



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Magic Revealed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-14 20:39:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 15,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1278214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookshopLaura/pseuds/BookshopLaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is cursed. But he doesn't feel threatened by a curse that Merlin will do exactly as he's told. Until he's faced with the true consequence of that power.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Arthur and Merlin are out hunting. Well no, that's not technically true. Arthur's out trying to hunt and Merlin is complaining about everything he can possibly think of. How far he's had to walk, how much he has to carry, how cruel it is to be hunting defenceless creatures, how he'll have to skin it and cook it afterwards. 

"Merlin!"

"What?" 

"Shut up!" 

They carry on walking for a while longer when Arthur spots movement in the distance, between some trees. He taps Merlin on the shoulder and Merlin turns to look at him sceptically. Arthur motions with his eyes and hands to where he can see a doe grazing in a clearing in the distance. It's pale in the dappled light, lazily eating grass. Merlin looks at it for a moment, then shakes his head at Arthur, frowning. 

Arthur glares at him then motions more emphatically towards the deer, drawing his bow quietly as he starts creeping forward. The deer is very pale, it's fur is white like snow. It will be a great prize to carry back for a feast. He has it in his sight, a few feet away when Merlin practically stampedes up to him and shakes him, and says in a whisper like a wood saw. 

"We shouldn't kill it!" 

"Merlin, I said shut up!"

When he turns round the deer is facing him, ears pricked. He raises his bow again. The deer doesn't move for a moment then seems to turn. But as it turns all the way round it transforms into a woman, slim and beautiful, but there is age in her eyes and brow. 

"You should have listened to your servant, young king, when you had the chance. For your greed and for ignoring his advise, I curse you. Your servant will do as you tell him"

"That's not a curse, that's a miracle" says Arthur smirking, turning to look at Merlin who is glaring daggers at him. 

"Beware, Arthur of Camelot, that you don't regret the orders you give" In the next moment the sorceress, for she must be, is a deer again and disappearing deep into the undergrowth faster than Arthur could draw his bow even if he'd been aiming to. 

"I told you to leave it alone" says Merlin annoyingly.

"Shut up Merlin" says Arthur, annoyed. He turns to head back to the castle, he's not in the mood to hunt any more. After a few minutes Merlin taps him on the shoulder. 

"What?" asks Arthur. Merlin looks at him with annoyance, motioning back where they've been. 

"What? No, we're not going back!"

Merlin keeps grabbing at his arm and pointing at his mouth.

"Merlin, I'm not in the mood. If you'd wanted rabbit you shouldn't be such a terrible hunter. Now stop being stupid, we're going back to Camelot."

Immediately Merlin stops fussing and starts following Arthur, although he walks the whole way with a frown on his face. Arthur rolls his eyes at that, then carries on walking. 

"You can stop frowning you know." Merlin's frown disappears although Arthur's looking ahead and doesn't notice.

"I mean if she has 'cursed' you how bad could it be? Just doing as I say?"

Merlin's glaring at Arthur without a frown, walking forward. He doesn't reply.

"Merlin?" still no reply.

"Come on, Merlin, whatever it is you want to say, spit it out!" 

"It's going to be terrible! You do realise I just spent the last half an hour unable to speak! Just because you told me to shut up!" says Merlin, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"Really?"

"Yes, really! I was trying to tell you, but you kept going on about rabbit!" Merlin's fuming, breathing heavily, but his eyebrows remain high, which Arthur is personally finding rather comical. He's struggling not to laugh the more agitated Merlin gets, because his eyes flare but he just looks more and more surprised. 

"It's not funny, Arthur!"

"I know" says Arthur shortly before laughing.

"I'm sorry, I am, you can... you can frown now" Merlin's eyebrows immediately draw together into a furious stare. 

"I can't believe it actually works. Can I get you do things if you don't want to?"

"I don't know" says Merlin frowning still. 

"Pick up that twig" says Arthur, motioning a short distance away. 

"Arthur!" shouts Merlin as he walks over and picks up the branch that Arthur has motioned at. 

"Stop it, Arthur! This isn't a game!" says Merlin and there's a serious tone in his voice. 

"Oh this is going to be hilarious" he laughs.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur thinks that this is probably just about the best curse that anyone could have put on them. Five times on the way home he randomly turns and orders Merlin to stop walking. The third time he adds

"Oh come on Merlin, smile it's funny!" which means that Merlin immediately smiles, although his eyes are furious and Arthur can barely stand up. He adds that the fourth and fifth times too and by the time they are approaching the castle Arthur's stomach and cheeks ache from laughter and Merlin yells

"I hate you" before marching on ahead with his fingers in his ears. Arthur shakes his head and rolls his eyes, he's always got a sort of twisted enjoyment out of making Merlin squirm. 

Back in the castle he heads up to his chambers to change. Merlin is already there furiously pulling out his change of clothes. He glances up and glares at Arthur when he enters, slamming the shirt and trousers he's holding down on the bed. It's not very effective. Linen on linen doesn't make a satisfying bang. He turns away again to goes and close the cupboard.   
"Oh come on Merlin, I'm sorry! It was just a bit of fun" 

"You don't realise how serious this is, Arthur! What if you tell me to do something metaphorically like jump off of a cliff or kill someone and I do it?" 

"Then I can find a manservant who does as he's told WITHOUT needing a curse!" says Arthur obviously.

"Arthur!" says Merlin, frowning and pouting at the same time. 

"Fine, Merlin. We will go and talk to Gaius about this later. But go and get me my lunch first."

"You are a selfish spoilt brat and I hate you!" shouts Merlin as he walks out of the room to get lunch.

After lunch, which Arthur shares with Merlin because he does feel a little guilty for taking advantage of this situation, they head to Gaius'. Arthur resists the urge to tell Merlin to do anything, although thoughts like 'jump on the spot', 'walk backwards' and 'do a handstand' keep flying through his mind. He smiles as he thinks them and Merlin can clearly read his thoughts because he doesn't speak most of the way. As they approach the door Arthur has a sudden thought.

"I didn't tell you to shut up, did I?"

"No, Arthur, I just don't feel like talking to you"

"I shared my lunch with you!" argues Arthur offended. 

"You ALWAYS share your lunch with me! You've been really horrible about this!"

"Oh, grow..." Merlin's hand slams over Arthur's mouth before he can finish his sentence and he tries to glare at Merlin but Merlin looks furious and a little scared. 

"Do you really want me to grow up? What if I grow old within days, hours, minutes? What if I grow ten feet tall?" Merlin's giving him a searching look as he carefully takes his hand away.

"Calm down, Merlin" says Arthur looking at Merlin quizzically. And then before his eyes Merlin calms down, looks relaxed. It unsettles him. 

"Sorry, Merlin"

Merlin's demeanour remains calm, but he says to Arthur with little emotion

"I think you need to order me to be normal again" Arthur frowns then says.

"Okay, I order you to be yourself"

Merlin's face immediately crumples and he's breathing quickly and deeply. And crying. 

"I'm sorry" says Arthur, and this time he means it more than before. He reaches forward to rub Merlin's shoulder, but Merlin brushes him off and walks past into Gaius' chambers.

\---

Gaius listens patiently as Merlin describes what happened. Arthur thinks Merlin paints him in a rather negative light, but just when he feels indignant enough to defend himself Merlin brings up the part about ordering him to get Arthur's breakfast and that earns Arthur a raised eyebrow. A raised eyebrow from Gaius can be intimidating, so Arthur tries to change the subject.

"So, how do we remove the curse?" Merlin looks more stressed about this than Arthur does, but really what is there to be stressed about. No one is dying, no one is being threatened, invaded, possessed. 

"From what the sorceress said it's difficult to say. I'd guess that it's some kind of test, for you Arthur. But what the test is for and what will break it is not clear."

"We can head back to the forest tomorrow" states Arthur. 

"There's no point, sire. She knew your name, she chose to be there to test you. And she said to be wary of what orders you give, so for the moment I only have suggestion."

"Which is?" asks Arthur

"Be very careful what you say to Merlin."


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur knows that he shouldn't push this with Merlin but he can't resist the temptation to test the limits of Merlin's curse. Even in his mind he calls it Merlin's curse. The sorceress cursed Arthur, but it's barely a inconvenience to Arthur. From the way Merlin has been reacting, it's unbearable. Arthur's relishing it more than he should, but he's always taken a bit of a perverse enjoyment out of aggravating Merlin. He tells himself not to be cruel, but he can't resist the urge to say 

"Bring me a small snack."

Under his breath, whilst he knows full well that Merlin is helping Gaius treating patients. He can't help the smile that breaks over his face when Merlin pushes the door open ten minutes later. Merlin's face is murderous and he slams the small plate of bread and cheese down in front of Arthur. 

"Arthur, I am meant to be helping Gaius with a very serious case!"

"Sorry, Merlin" says Arthur half hearted. But it doesn't stop him from dropping 'smile', 'laugh', 'frown', 'cheer up' and 'giggle' into conversations throughout the door. Merlin becomes increasingly agitated and shows it by saying as little to Arthur as necessary. But Arthur's having too much fun. That night as he lays in bed, unable to sleep for no reason he can think of, an idea comes to him and a wicked smile grows across his face. 

"Merlin, bring me a cup of water" he says quietly into the darkness. In the darkness he waits and listens. After a while he hears what he thinks are footsteps and he sits up. Then he hears a thud. He frowns, and there's another thud. Eventually the door creeks open. In the darkness he can just about make out a figure walking across the room. Another thud as Merlin walks into the table. 

"Merlin, why didn't you bring a light?" asks Arthur. At first there is no response, but as Merlin nears him, Arthur hears a slight snore. Merlin is still asleep. For the first time since the curse has been placed Arthur senses it's implications. He sobers. Merlin has walked here asleep. Clearly the curse alone cannot control Merlin's body perfectly, as the door and table have shown. What if Merlin had fallen down any of the stairs between his chamber and Arthur's. Arthur's little prank could have resulted in Merlin lying at the bottom of the stairs with a broken arm or leg, or worse, a broken neck. Arthur tries to dismiss the thought, Merlin is alive, he's fine. But Arthur has gambled with Merlin's life for a laugh. He won't make the same mistake twice. He takes the cup, which is very light and places it on his bedside table. Then he orders Merlin back to his own bed. But he follows, his arms out ready to catch him should something happen. On the stairs he sees a small puddle with hand marks glistening in the moonlight. Merlin has fallen already. At least Arthur doesn't let him fall again. He returns to his own bed and sleeps uneasily. 

In the morning he is woken by a rather grumpy Merlin. Understandable considering Arthur's behaviour yesterday, but he's also moaning about how somehow in the night he's bruised his shin. And Arthur looks away to hide his guilty look, but ends up looking at the cup on his bedside instead. He closes his eyes at the memory of last night and walks over to the table for breakfasts. As he eats he is very careful to only tell Merlin to do things he needs to do, things he'd normally do anyway. And he finds himself saying please every time. Because he owes Merlin that, although Merlin doesn't know it and frowns at Arthur suspiciously when he starts. 

"Merlin, please can you get my red jacket out for today"

"Why are you being polite all of a sudden. Besides you want your brown jacket." he replies.

"No Merlin, I want my red jacket because I want to wear it with my blue shirt"

"Well you can't wear your blue shirt because it's still being mended. And your white shirts are being washed. So it'll have to be your red shirt"

"What? Still being mended?"

"You put your elbow through it! And since you mentioned you don't like patches, the maids have insisted that they'll remake the entire arm. They may have it a while"

"Fine, the brown will do... Merlin? you didn't do as I told you!" Arthur's mind jumps for joy. He's broken the curse. Realising he shouldn't take advantage of Merlin has broken the spell. He's smiling broadly. Merlin's smiling, if a little less enthusiastically.

"Tell me to do something" he orders

"Close the door" immediately Merlin walks over to the door and closes it. Arthur's heart sinks. Merlin pauses as the door clicks shut. He turns back to Arthur, the smile is gone. That's not right. But another answer presents itself. It's not the answer, but it does make things more bearable.

"Merlin, please open the door"

"I just closed it!" says Merlin frowning, then the frown gradually eases and he's breathing a little easier and smiling a little.

"You just have to say please and I don't have to do it"

"Well that can't be too difficult!" says Arthur, his grin breaking out again. Merlin's eyebrows raise in disbelief.

"Really? You? Polite? It's going to be torture"


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur tries really hard, really really hard to remember to say please every time he speaks to Merlin. It's difficult, he's so used to just dishing out orders and expecting Merlin to obey or ignore them that he finds himself reverting to normal all too easily. But it's not really that big a deal. He's not being mean any more. He's not teasing Merlin or winding him up. Now it's just honest to goodness forgetting that he needs to say please. It's do my washing instead of please do my washing. Merlin would probably do it anyway, so Arthur doesn't worry himself when he occasionally forgets. And at first Merlin is patient with him, he can see that Arthur's attitude has changed. But he does frown and grumble when Arthur forgets. And as the frequency increases Merlin gets more and more distressed. 

"Tidy the grate Merlin" says Arthur, without thinking as he reads a report.

"Arthur!" shouts Merlin as he walks across to do it.

"I'm sorry Merlin, I forgot"

"You keep forgetting!"

"I know but it's not easy. And it's not like you wouldn't do it anyway"

"It's not the same!" grumbles Merlin from his position by the grate and it's a little whinier than usual.

"Why not?" demands Arthur.

"Because it's not, Arthur, it's horrible. You don't know what it's like"

"Then tell me!" says Arthur exasperatedly. Merlin stands up, having finished the grate. He turns his body towards Arthur but he doesn't make eye contact. He looks like he's just about to cry. 

"It's like someone else is inside my head. Like if someone broke into my rooms and went through my things but a thousand times worse. And then when you think they're gone suddenly they're moving around and I'm frozen. If I try to move my arms or legs I can't and someone else is moving them without my permission. I hate it, Arthur I hate it!" Merlin's really crying now. Arthur had never thought about how powerless this... no he has been making Merlin feel. Happily writing it off as a joke or forgetting because it didn't seem that important. But it is important and he still hadn't got it. Even after last night he's still been taking Merlin for granted. He lowers his head in shame. 

"I'm sorry, truly sorry Merlin. I really will try to stop it. I will. I didn't think... I didn't realise it was so upsetting for you." Merlin's still frowning but he nods.

"I mean it." says Arthur seriously, soberly. 

And he does and as Merlin dresses him for bed that he hasn't ordered Merlin to do anything, and only got close once. But he'd caught himself and started again. Merlin had smiled when Arthur changed his mind, and had been infinitely calmer the rest of the day, soon beginning to chatter and joke again. Now as Merlin undressed him he felt calm and relaxed himself. Surely the curse would soon be lifted. And even if it wasn't, he and Merlin were coping so well with it now that soon they'd forget he was cursed.

"Light the fire, Merlin, quick as you can" says Arthur as he throws his shirt onto the bed. He mentally slaps himself and turns to apologise in time to see Merlin staring at the fire, his eyes glowing gold and his face plastered with a look of abject horror. The fire roars into life, the flickering light making Merlin look like he is shaking slightly. After a few seconds, Merlin turns to face Arthur. He looks scared, guilty and shocked. Maybe he didn't know he could do magic, thinks Arthur. Because he would have known if Merlin had magic, or at least if Merlin knew he had magic.

"I'm sorry Arthur. I meant to tell you"

Merlin did know, Merlin has been lying to Arthur. It's like the whole world has ground to a halt and all that exists is him and Merlin and the distance that has suddenly sprung between them. 

"Get out" growls Arthur and Merlin turns and walks out of the door, closing it behind him. But as soon as the door is closed he hears a knock.

"Please, Arthur. I did mean to tell you. All I've done has been for you, Arthur. I'd never betray you, you know that! Please, talk to me Arthur! I don't want you to hate me please! Please Arthur!"

"Shut Up Merlin!" He screams at the door. It's immediately silent, except the next minute there's a light knock at the door and when he doesn't respond, another.

"Stop Knocking!" he adds but it doesn't help. He know's Merlin's there, sitting up against the door, red eyed and upset. And he doesn't deserve sympathy, not this time. So after a few moments Arthur marches over to the door, flings it open and yells. 

"Get lost Merlin!"


	5. Chapter 5

Merlin walks down the stairs, his heart pounding. He has just about enough control to stop himself tripping down the stairs, but it's worse than feeling drunk. The sensation is made worse by the tears in his eyes blurring his vision. He's pulling backwards with all his effort as he heads out into the courtyard, but it's having no effect. He's still fighting against it when he passes the guards and heads out of Camelot. He knows where he's heading. Because he knows most of Camelot, he could never get lost there, and most of the fields and villages surrounding it are easily identifiable. As the darkness of the forest looms in the distance his mind just keeps repeating

"No, no, no, no, no,"

\-----

Arthur goes to bed fuming and upset. He feels betrayed and angry. Merlin is... was his best friend and most trusted confidante. He doesn't know what he should do. Probably order his arrest in the morning. Or maybe he should just fire him, or exile him. He doesn't know what he should do. Merlin is the one person who he would ask at times like this, but he can't when Merlin is the one he needs advise about. He can't believe he's evil. However much he tries, but Merlin has lied to him. That he knows is the truth. He eventually falls asleep, waking up early with a headache. Merlin doesn't arrive to wake him, which Arthur is grateful for. He's not sure he can face Merlin in his current mood, although he's annoyed Merlin didn't organise another servant. But when lunch comes and goes and Merlin is nowhere to be found, it begins to grate on his temper. He never took Merlin for a coward, but then again he never took him for a traitor. He heads to Gaius' 

"He's not with you, sire?" Gaius sounds concerned, looking past Arthur as if Merlin might appear behind him. 

"No"

"I haven't seen him since yesterday. Is everything okay?" Arthur can't help the way his heart twinges in concern.

"Merlin and I have... had a disagreement. If he does reappear, send him to me."

"If? You think he has left?" asks Gaius with obvious suprise.

"I think it's a distinct possibility." says Arthur. His mind has reaches the only logical conclusion; that Merlin has fled. It tastes bitter even as he says it. It suggests guilt, plotting, cowardice. Things he hates to associate with Merlin.

"Sire, Merlin would never willingly leave without speaking to me. And he would never leave just because you two have disagreed" Gaius sounds convinced and Merlin is close to Gaius. 

"Gaius, I do not take you for an idiot. Merlin has magic, I believe that you know this" he says tiredly. Gaius pauses before he speaks. 

"Merlin is a very powerful sorcerer..." Arthur wonders if he's being threatened.

"...who is devoted to serving you, Arthur. He is your friend, you must believe that" For a moment Arthur questions Gaius' loyalty, but Gaius is an old man who Arthur has known his whole life. Misguided he might be, a traitor he is not. 

"Then why has he run away? I am not my father, I can see that just because he has magic doesn't necessarily make him evil, but why run away if he is innocent, if he has nothing to fear?"

"I don't know, but I know Merlin. And he would rather die than leave you."

Arthur sits on his bed as he undresses thinking about his conversation with Gaius. Whatever Gaius says Merlin's actions tell Arthur what he needs to know. He never really knew Merlin, it was all an act. If Merlin came back, if Merlin talked to him. But he hasn't, he's run away. And now Arthur must see Merlin as a threat. He'll have to organise searches, hunts for him. The knights will be devastated, they'll never believe that Merlin is a traitor. Tomorrow, he thinks, that is a job for tomorrow. Right now he's still trying to reconcile himself with this knowledge. Wiping his eyes, he tries to pull himself together. He needs to think about where Merlin might have gone? He climbs under the covers and tries to think. 

He won't have gone home, Arthur knows where that is. Arthur thinks about speaking to Merlin's mother, but then decides against it. It's not in his nature to bully an innocent woman for her son's actions. The druids? Morgana? He could head to either. And then he decides to confront the memories he's been suppressing all day, the last words he and Merlin exchanged. Maybe in those words are a clue to his plan. Tears flow more freely as he remembers the fear and shock in Merlin's eyes when he turned to look at Arthur. He can hear Merlin begging, pleading his innocence, his loyalty. He buries his head in his pillow as to muffle the sounds he's making. His head hurts and his ears roar like a waterfall. Merlin is gone and even if he's a traitor, it hurts, it really hurts. And his own words run through his mind. 

"Shut up" the curse, in his anger he'd forgotten about the curse. Wherever Merlin's gone, he's mute. He's not sure if he's comforted by this. 

"Stop knocking" He'd turned Merlin away, Merlin had tried to stay, tried to explain. Maybe, maybe there was something in that. He didn't know, doesn't know. How is he supposed to know anything any more?

"Get lost" Every hair on his body stands on end and he sits up violently, his throat suddenly dry and his breathing laboured. He feels sick, his heart racing. 

"Get lost, Merlin!"


	6. Chapter 6

Arthur is out of bed in an instant, but then what to do. The curse! The curse! How could he forget the curse? No wonder Merlin's not here begging for forgiveness. He's gagged and wandering further and further away. He could be anywhere. Anywhere he doesn't know. 

The curse! Finally Arthur sees a benefit to Merlin having to do as he's told. 

"Merlin, come home!" he shouts loudly. 

\----

 

In the forest Merlin wakes violently. He feels like he's being repeatedly whacked around the head. He brings his hands up to guard his face and tries to shout out, but he's still not able to speak. He realises he isn't being hit around head, more that he's being thrown repeatedly against a large tree. And there's no one else here, it's the curse. He wants to scream at Arthur. How could he do this to Merlin? As if silencing Merlin and sending him into a forest aren't enough. Merlin manages, somehow, to throw his weight so that he's walking past the tree, but he doesn't see the tree root and he's thrown forward onto the very rooty forest floor. This was bad enough on the way in. For some reason then he'd avoided the trees. He guesses 'get lost' gave him some leeway to walk around them. But now? Maybe Arthur is summoning him back to Camelot. Because he misses him? Is he sorry he sent him off? Or is he heading back for trial and execution? The later seems more likely. 

He's thinking so much he doesn't notice the tree in time. He catches his arm heavily. It's not a break, but the bark was sharp so now Merlin has a grazed arm to add to his injuries. His face and front feel battered and he can feel cuts on his chin, nose and cheek. He can feel the blood trickling slowly down his front. He starts paying more attention and he's glad he does. The next minute, in the dim moonlight he spots a large patch of darkness. This forest is littered with gullies and as he gets closer his fears are confirmed. He grabs and wraps his arms round a tree, which results in him twisting around awkwardly, and then sliding down the tree. The tree over hangs the gully. It's quite a drop, and he finds himself sliding down the tree, his legs hanging over the edge. And as he clings on his fingers try to loosen their grip. He fights it, fights with all his might. And as he does a loud piercing sound grows in his head, but he finds himself mentally screaming back and trying to cling on. But it's not working, his fingers are straightening, just a few millimetres more...

\----

"Merlin, only come back if you want to and it's safe" says Arthur, his heart pounding. What has he done? He has no idea where Merlin is. He could have sent him walking into bandits, wolves, Morgana. He could have been asleep, he could have walked over a cliff, into a lake or river. He could have been sleeping in a tree. There are so many possibilities where Arthur's inability to understand this basic principle could have ended in Merlin's death. He's shaking. He still hadn't got it! He still hadn't understood! Gaius is glaring at him like a... like a father whose son you just sent into the forest to meet his death. Which makes sense, considering how close to the truth it is. 

"You are a fool! And pig headed! I told you Merlin would never leave you by choice!"

"He's still a sorcerer!" says Arthur indignantly, tearily. 

"If he's still anything! Did you listen to a word I said?"

"Yes! Gaius I'm sorry, you have no idea how sorry. But I need to go now. Leon is rousing the knights, we'll start a city wide search..."

"Don't bother!" Arthur looks up aghast. 

"With the city. I've sent Merlin on errands all over it. If he's 'lost' the most obvious place to start is the forest."

\---

At the bottom of the gully, Merlin groans in pain. He's sure he's sprained his ankle and possibly his arm. He clambers up slowly. The curse has stopped. Arthur has lifted it. He tries to shout in joy. But he's still silenced. So not lifted. But Arthur hasn't got him frog - marching back to Camelot through who knows what territory. Which means Arthur told him not to bother? Can he possibly hope that Arthur just realised how dangerous it is? Or how much Merlin hated it? It's possible, but this is Arthur. And as he clambers up the other side of the gully, heading vaguely the way he was being forced to walk, he tries not to think about Arthur. When he leans against a tree and hears a low growl nearby, all thoughts of Arthur flee from his mind, as he grabs at the nearest branch. By the time he's out of reach of snapping jaws, he's surrounded by a hungry wolf pack.


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin is sat rather uncomfortably on a high branch. His bum went numb ages ago and his arms are aching from being stuck in the same position. But he's got nowhere else to go, but possibly further up the tree. He's currently locked in a staring contest with what he assumes is the head of the wolf pack. It's strange, he thinks, that they look so much like dogs despite being wild, dangerous animals. One, thoroughly uninterested in Merlin, is scratching it's ear and yawning, before laying down. The other three have sat down and are watching Merlin intently. He can't bring himself to kill them, they are just hungry. This is what hungry wolves do, they hunt. It's not evil, just nature. He's tried throwing a few of them with his magic, and it made them stand back a bit but they're clearly hungry and inquisitive enough to hang around. He's tried a few distractions with rustled leaves and branches but one of them heads off to investigate and then heads back when it can pick up no scent. So Merlin carries on his staring battle with the leader and hopes he doesn't have to kill them later. 

\---

Arthur is thinking deeply as he leads a search party of knights into the forest. He's told them the basics, but he left out the part about the fight being because Merlin has magic. He still doesn't know what to do about that. Gwaine and Elyan have been glaring daggers at his back, and all of the other knights are trying hard to hide the judgemental looks, but he doesn't care. He's spent the last few hours wondering if he's killed the best friend he ever had, either by sending him into the forest or ordering him out of it. He knows he deserves their dirty looks, and more. He's trying to think of an order that will show Arthur where Merlin is and if he's okay but that won't hurt Merlin. He doesn't know if Merlin needs to be alive to obey the curse and his mind is filled with nightmare scenarios. What if he saw smoke or a bright light in the forest, and arrived in a clearing to find Merlin's corpse battered and cold, his hand outstretch to cast as spell? He blinks back the tears. He shouldn't think like this, he doesn't know Merlin is dead yet. So he starts considering his options. 

'If you're alive, send me a sign' No, who knows what or who might be around to see it. He could put Merlin in greater danger. 

'If you're alive and it's safe send me a sign' But then if it wasn't safe Merlin wouldn't send a sign and Arthur would think he was dead. 

'If you're alive and when it's safe to, send me a sign' But then he could be waiting for days, weeks, months. Merlin might need his help or be dead already and he wouldn't know.

'If you're alive and in a way that's safe, send me a sign' But what if he doesn't understand it, what if he receives a 'sign' and he doesn't recognise it as such?

'If you're alive and in a way that's safe, send me a sign that I'll understand'

"Please, Merlin, please come home. I'm sorry" he says quietly. Because he doesn't trust himself not to mess this up again. He runs through his options again and then decides to do an initial sweep of the forest before resorting to using the curse. Merlin doesn't like it anyway. He remembers Merlin's pleading about how it made him feel. He won't put him through that again until he has no other choice. 

\---

Merlin's luck finally changes when the leader of the pack breaks eye contact with him. He thinks he's won the worlds longest staring contest and wonders if this makes him the leader of the pack. Then he realises that all of the wolves have turned their attention away from him to somewhere behind the tree he's stuck in. One by one they sit up and quietly slink away. He carefully and stiffly climbs around the tree to see where they've gone. Through the branches and leaves he can just about make out a deer, a normal fallow deer walking through the trees in the distance, then behind it another. The wolves have seen their natural food and now they're in their element. He waits until they're out of sight and then a little linger, just to make sure. Then he climbs as quietly as he can down the tree and heads into the forest the way he thinks he was heading when cursed. He listens out for a stream for water. After a long and tiring walk he finds one. He assumes that the wolves have found a more satisfying meal in the deer, takes a drink, then crosses the river. It's as he's climbing the bank that he hears his own voice. His arm reaches forward and something is appearing on it. He's casting a spell. No, he's not. He feels sick. Arthur is casting a spell through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is turning into a monster, and I've got plot for at least 3 more chapters, so buckle up Guys! Hopefully you're all enjoying it. Please please please comment, however long or short you want, I don't mind. And I hope you like how I finish it!!


	8. Chapter 8

Merlin watches in horror as a large, glowing bubble appears to grow out of his hand. He feels physically sick, used, invaded. This is worse than every other time Arthur has ordered him to do something. His magic is so vital, so integral to him, and now Arthur has reached right inside him and hijacked it, taken it out of his control. It was bad enough with the fire, when Arthur didn't mean it, when it was just a slip of the tongue. But Arthur knows now, he's doing it on purpose. Merlin tries screwing his eyes shut so that he doesn't cry at the memory of Arthur's face, angry and shut off from Merlin. 'Get out', 'shut up', 'get lost!'. Or at the feeling of his stomach twisting from the magic being pulled from him against his will. He hates it, it physically hurts and he really wants to scream, but whenever he tries nothing comes out. Eventually the bubble is as wide as his hand and then it detaches and flies off into the forest ahead of him. Merlin sinks to his knees and is sick. He stays there for a while, breathing deeply, then clambers to his feet to follow the orb. Arthur may be searching for him, either out of worry for him or to condemn him. He can't tell which and right now it doesn't matter. Arthur is his destiny, even if that destiny is the executioners block. 

\---

Arthur stands in the clearing looking around desperately and chewing his lip nervously. They are some way into the forest and the knights are standing around. Gwaine is refusing to make eye contact. The last time he did, he looked at Arthur like was the lowest criminal in the kingdom. Would he think the same if he knew about Merlin's secret? Would he be angry if he knew Merlin had magic and had deceived them all? He hasn't told them what he has ordered Merlin to do, he's simply said they'll stop for a break before splitting up. He's not sure why he's hiding Merlin's secret for him, but then he probably owes Merlin this much. Just as he's beginning to think there will be no sign, that Merlin is dead, he sees a shockingly familiar sight. A glowing orb, just like the one that had guided him before. He'd asked for a sign he would recognise, well he certainly recognises it. He's so shocked he just stares at it. That was Merlin! Merlin has been helping him with Arthur knowing. How many other times could Merlin have interceded and taken to credit?. 

"I think we should follow it." says Arthur, finally pulling himself from his thoughts. The knights exchange looks but don't argue. Arthur has been acting strangely, cagily since he mentioned his fight with Merlin and ordering him away. Clearly Arthur knows something he's not willing to share. After a moment the orb starts to move back the way it had come. Arthur follows it instinctively. It stops and waits when he loses sight of it. It guides him through thistles and dense forest and Arthur and the knights struggle slowly with their horses. But after an hour the orb suddenly stops. Arthur glares at it like the treacherous instrument it is, until he spots a solitary figure tramping slowly through the undergrowth ahead of him.

"Merlin!" He shouts his relief, almost knocking his own breath out of him. He runs towards Merlin who slows as he registers Arthur ahead of him. He nearly barrels Merlin over as he runs to embrace him. 

"Oh God, Merlin. You're okay. Thank God you're okay. I've been so worried, you have no idea! Are you all right? You haven't broken anything have you?" He pulls back, holding Merlin at arms length to look at him. He's got some scratches and bruises, his face is bruised and bloodied, but he doesn't look too badly hurt. Except that he's just staring at Arthur, not saying anything at all. Arthur stands confused for a moment. Why is Merlin not saying anything. Then his eyebrows shoot up as he remembers his parting words. 

"I'm sorry. You can speak, you can say whatever you want." Merlin's lips open for a moment then close again. His brow stays firmly set, his eyes seem to search Arthur for something. Arthur just keeps talking.

"Merlin I'm sorry, I forgive you...and... and I'm sorry about how I reacted. I should never have said what I did. And I... I'm so glad you're alive! I don't know what I would have done if..." his mind derails. This was too close, far too close. He nearly lost Merlin for ever and the mere thought wraps his heart in ice. But Merlin's okay, he's here. He pauses and looks at Merlin for a reply. 

"Merlin?" he asks, because Merlin is still just standing there staring at him, and his eyes are narrow. 

"Merlin, please say something" asks Arthur, his heart beat beginning to quicken. And then Merlin says two words. Two words Arthur never feared because it never occurred to him he'd hear them. Never, even in his worst moments had he considered he'd hear them. But he is hearing them, clearly, unemotionally. It's like his heart stops completely, then Merlin is walking past him to where his horse his waiting for him.

"I quit"


	9. Chapter 9

Arthur watches Merlin walk away, his mind reeling. 

"You can't leave until I dismiss you" he cries running after Merlin

"Then dismiss me" says Merlin firmly, as he hoists himself onto his horse.

"But I don't want to dismiss you" 

"You found it easy enough last time" says Merlin and Arthur steps back like he's been slapped. But that's not fair, none of this is fair.

"You lied to me for years! You never told me you had magic! Are you surprised I was upset?" asks Arthur. He can hear the gasps and the murmuring from the knights. 

"Traitor!" shouts a voice Arthur can't place.

"I have never betrayed Arthur!" says Merlin holding his head up.

"You heard him" says Gwaine, turning to the knight who'd spoken out. At least Arthur knows where Gwaine's loyalty lies. 

"I... I think I believe you... but you still lied! What I did I did out of shock and I've been trying to bring you home ever since" by the time he's finished speaking the anger has left his voice and he's stepping forward.

"You used the curse" says Merlin, making his horse step back. 

"I told you, it was shock!"

"No, just now! With the bubble thing. You made me use magic against my own will"

"I... I was just trying to find you" says Arthur upset.

"And in the woods you made me walk over a ravine into a wolf pack. You nearly killed me!"

"I was trying to save you!"

"I didn't need your help"

"But..."

"I have magic! I would have found my way! I've been in far worse situations. And frankly I'd rather have been mauled by those wolves than have you order me to use magic again. You have no idea..." Merlin trails off, nearly crying then collects himself. 

"I'm sorry, Merlin."

"What's the point of being sorry if you still don't get it" says Merlin coldly. Then he turns his horse and heads back to Camelot. Gwaine is mounted in seconds and has ridden up to ride beside him. The rest of the knights quickly mount and, in a daze Arthur does too.

\---

Three days later and Merlin has been true to his word. Arthur has been tempted hourly to order Merlin to return but he hasn't. He knows there's no point. If he ordered Merlin to return and act as if nothing happened it wouldn't be Merlin. It was be a lie, a fraud. He wouldn't be forgive and inside Merlin would be hating more than ever. So he's been thinking very deeply about how to make things better. He needs to do something, something that will prove how sorry he is. If only he could lift the curse. So he's been thinking about that, a lot. And then as he's lying in bed, wondering if Merlin will ever speak to him and how it should bother him more that Merlin has magic when the answer presents itself. It's so simple. He laughs in relief at the realisation and goes to sleep hopeful. 

In the morning he sends an extremely polite note to Merlin requesting his presence. Merlin arrives with a look which suggests he threatened bodily violence on Gaius to make Merlin come. Or maybe Gaius threatened him, because Merlin does not look like he wants to be here. 

"Thank you for coming, Merlin" says Arthur politely. 

"Did I have a choice?" asks Merlin sarcastically.

"Yes, of course you did" says Arthur frowning. Merlin looks a bit out off by that, but then asks

"So?"

"I think I've worked out how to break the curse"

Merlin raises a sceptical eyebrow.

"If I give you one more order then it'll be gone, done."

"Arthur, I don't think..."

"Please, just hear me out. If I order you to do as you want regardless of what I order you then you'll be free of the curse" Merlin's brow furrows as he considers it. Arthur watches as Merlin eyes him suspiciously but clearly comes to the same conclusion Arthur does. There's no down side, it breaks the curse using the curse itself. After a moments more deliberation Merlin looks at Arthur and nods. Arthur braces himself and tries to remember the exact wording that he'd thought through this morning.

"Merlin I order you to be yourself, to only follow my orders as you are willing to in line with your will and conscience. I order it from this moment on and this order surmounts any other." He pauses. He's pretty sure that covers everything. He looks up at Merlin expectantly, who is eyeing him quizzically.

"Do you feel any different?" Merlin shakes his head.

"Do you mind if I test it?" Merlin glares a little but shakes his head again.

"Go and get be a glass of wine"

"No" says Merlin and he's standing stock still. He looks at Arthur and for a moment he's smiling slightly, at least Arthur thinks he is. 

"Will you come back now?" asks Arthur, earnestly. Merlin's smile disappears. He's frowning but he also looks a little sad.

"No" And then he turns round and walks out of Arthur's chambers.


	10. Chapter 10

Arthur has requested Gaius' presence. He thinks it best not to go where Merlin might be right now. He finds himself becoming quite angry as well as upset. He's lifted the curse and he's asked, no begged for forgiveness and Merlin is still being distant and refusing to return to work. So he calls Gaius for advise.

"I don't know how I can help you, sire. I've tried telling Merlin he's being a bit obstinate but he won't talk to me, won't confide in me."

"So you agree, he's being unreasonable?"

"Merlin has every right to be upset, but you've shown willing enough for him to at least show he appreciates that. This is so unlike him. He's not himself at all at the moment."

"What do you mean?" 

"He's making himself miserable refusing to go back to work, it's obvious he misses it. He's quick tempered, he rarely laughs or smiles any more. And as hard as I try he won't tell me when he's thinking"

"Should I ask?" asks Arthur.

"I don't think that would be wise, considering what's happened" Arthur nods reluctantly. 

"Right, thank you Gaius" says Arthur, Gaius turns to leave, pauses and turns back. 

"Sire, there was something I meant to ask"

"Yes, Giaus?"

"What are you going to do about magic now?"

"Do I need to do something?" 

"Well you know now that Merlin has magic and yet magic is still outlawed. It's spreading round the city..."

"Do you think that's why he's upset? Because he thinks I might change my mind and execute him?"

"I couldn't say, sire. He hasn't said as much to me, but it might be."

"That would mean he wants me to lift the ban. And wants me to think of it myself." says Arthur darkly, barely listening to Gaius.

"Is that so bad?"

"Those with magic are dangerous!" says Arthur passionately. 

"Is Merlin dangerous?" asks Gaius

"No, of course not!" says Arthur just as passionately. 

"Why not? And if not, why not the others?"

"Because... because he's Merlin, of course he's not dangerous. But others are, they've attempted to kill me and my father. They've done terrible things to Camelot..."

"Merlin has great power. And it was he who freed the dragon" says Gaius quietly.

"He... what?" Arthur asks shocked. 

"He didn't think the dragon would harm the city. And now he is a dragon lord we will never suffer that fate again."

"Why are you telling me this? Do you want me to hate Merlin? Because right now I'm tempted to..."

"Of course I don't want you to hate Merlin!" snaps Gaius. He collects himself. 

"What I'm trying to say, Sire, is that your Father's ban on magic has made a lot of people do a lot of things they wouldn't otherwise do. It has made people desperate. And all Merlin has ever done has been for you and Camelot."

"Before I do anything else I need to know the truth. As much as you know, Gaius." says Arthur, motioning to the chair next to him. 

 

\---

Arthur's glad that Merlin isn't around for the next few days. Because Merlin has done a lot that Arthur wouldn't agree with and there have been moments when he's come close to changing his mind and writing an order of execution. But in then end the stories Gaius tell sound like the Merlin he knows, even if he's got so much wrong. They are stories of a devastatingly loyal Merlin, a friend who has done so much, maybe sometimes too much to keep Arthur safe and to do the right thing, even when it hasn't turned out how Merlin planned. And Arthur knows how that feels. He thinks maybe this is why Merlin doesn't want to work for him any more. Behind the stubbornness and moodiness he's ashamed of Arthur knowing the truth, seeing him for who he is. And he certainly doesn't see Merlin in the same light as before. But he doesn't hate him and he can, after he's adjusted to the news, begin to understand and accept him. 

So when he has wrapped his head around the truth he thinks more about what Gaius said about others who use magic. And it must be true, although he's struggling with it, that if Merlin can have magic and be good then so can others. He suspects Gaius has magic too and that would be two sorcerers he knows who he'd trust his life with. How many more that he doesn't even know about. So he considers a drastic course of action. It's risky. It might make him enemies in neighbouring kingdoms, and amongst many of his own people raised on his fathers teachings. But he thinks maybe he should lift the ban on magic. 

So a week after Merlin's return he makes an official proclamation. Magic is no longer outlawed. It is now only illegal to use magic to commit another crime, say murder, assault, theft. And he goes to Gaius' chambers to deliver a special note to Merlin.

"You want me to be Court Sorcerer?" Merlin is looking at the note and for the first time since his return he's not looking or sounding sceptical or sarcastic.

"The official term is Royal Magic Advisor, but it's up to you. It'll pay a lot better than being a manservant. Merlin I really miss your advice and your..."

"Arthur I can't!" It's not angry, it's upset. Arthur's heart sinks

"Why not?" he asks

"I can't..."

"Will you ever forgive me?" Merlin looks up and his eyes look tired and upset

"I do forgive you, I have forgiven you" he says

"Then why can't..."

"I just can't, Arthur! Don't make this harder than it is!"

Arthur just stands, dumbstruck as Merlin runs out of the room.


	11. Chapter 11

Arthur is confused and hurt. Merlin won't confide in him and he hasn't confided in Gaius. He sees Merlin chatting with Gwaine and it upsets him more, because Merlin will confide in Gwaine and not him. But he supposes he deserves it. He tries approaching Gwaine about it but Gwaine makes it clear that if Merlin wants to talk to Arthur, he will. 

But two days after the incident with Merlin, Arthur receives news that shakes him to the core. A letter from a former citizen of Camelot now living in Essetir, Lot's kingdom. It informs Arthur that Lot is rousing his army and his intended target is Camelot. Considering Arthur's recent change of stance on magic it's not unreasonable that he has other allies in other kingdoms. Arthur must prepare to fight, must defend Camelot. And the next morning he makes a royal proclamation declaring Lot's intent and mustering his own forces. He can feel himself shaking as he speaks to the crowd, and he knows there are those amongst them who might join forces with Lot over this, can feel their critical gaze. He feels like his whole world has been shaken to it's foundation. 

He sitting in his chambers after lunch, anxiously reading over Leon's estimates for able-bodied men and training time when he hears a knock. He says 'enter' without looking up. 

"Arthur?" says Merlin meekly. Arthur glances up and then looks up properly, trying to suppress the urge to run and hug him. 

"Merlin." He tries not to be too hopeful, motioning for Merlin to sit down. 

"I came because... when I heard you speak... about Lot." Arthur watches him expectantly.

"I'm sorry. This is all my fault. This is because you lifted the ban on magic, because of me..."

"This is because Lot is power hungry and was waiting for any opportunity to make a move. I should have been more focussed, aware of his movements." says Arthur frowning. 

"But if you hadn't..." interrupts Merlin. 

"If I hadn't lifted a law which I now know to be unjust? What kind of king would that have made me?" Merlin looks at Arthur, and it's a mix of proud and grateful and something else. Arthur looks back thinking about how much he missed Merlin. Merlin looks down awkwardly and Arthur remembers things still aren't the same.

"I'm... I'm sorry I didn't come back to work sooner. I... I just needed some time. But I'm here now. I'm back." He smiles but it's missing something.

"Merlin, please tell me." the smile falters. 

"It wasn't as important as I thought. Can we just forget about it?" 

And Arthur tries, he really does. But he can't because even though Merlin is back and is talking to him, and they're both incredibly busy preparing for Lot's attack. There's still something there. They'll be talking and laughing and suddenly Merlin will be serious or silent or change the subject. Arthur tries to pretend it's not there, but it is. Two days later as they're both sat in Arthur's chambers, Arthur on a chair and Merlin on the small bench by the fire, Arthur watches Merlin thoughtfully. He should be reading his latest letter from his contact or the report on reinforcing the outer walls. Merlin is studying reports on food in case of a siege and making notes, not speaking. 

"I'm cursed." says Arthur, thinking out loud.

"What? No! This isn't a curse, you said..."

"The sorceress said I'd regret my orders and I do."

"You do?" asks Merlin confused.

"I regret telling you to get lost." he says. Merlin lowers his eyes in understanding, then rallies himself.

"I'm not lost any more, Arthur" says Merlin, and it's comforting to hear Merlin say his name.

"But you are lost to me, somehow."

"Arthur..."

"You don't trust me,"

"I do... I just know there's nothing you can do." says Merlin sadly. Arthur frowns as Merlin turns back to his own reading and decides to leave it for now and concentrate on his own reading. The letter details an attack by a small band of Lot's soldiers on an outlying village near Camelot. Lot suspected they might flee to Arthur's side, and that others might too. The contact states they were 'made an example of'. But he can't place it. The village's location is described from the Essetir side, with little guidance on the Camelot side. He frowns, handing Merlin the letter.

"Merlin, do you recognise where this village is?" Merlin studies it for a moment, then his whole face falls, in shock and horror. And now Arthur knows where it is. It's Ealdor.


	12. Chapter 12

Merlin's just staring at the letter, but Arthur notes the way Merlin's lip begins to quiver.

"You're not going to cry, are you Merlin?" Merlin's head snaps up looking hurt and Arthur knows he sounded harsher than he meant. Why does he say these things? Merlin has every right to be upset. He's clearly struggling to school his features. Arthur hangs his head for a moment. Then he gets up and sits himself beside Merlin on the bench. Merlin is wiping his eyes, avoiding Arthur's gaze and generally looking miserable. He puts his arm around Merlin companionably, rubbing Merlin's shoulder with his thumb.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... We'll go, we'll take a small group and knights and we'll have a look around." Merlin looks up, surprised. 

"You can't, Arthur. You're needed here!"

"Merlin, all I'm doing is reading reports and making speeches. We know from these letters that we have about a month before Lot is ready to invade. We can afford two days to ride out and see what's going on."

Merlin clearly has more objections but he's also desperate to get news of Hunith and his other friends in Ealdor. So he simply nods and Arthur pulls him in to hug him from the side. Merlin leans in to him a little. 

"Thank you, Arthur" he says quietly. 

\---

The next morning they head of early, leaving a note for Leon and Gaius. They take Gwaine and Percival. They ride quickly to the border and then head towards Ealdor off of the road so as not to attract attention. Merlin is anxious the whole way there, gripping his reigns too tight and jumping at the slightest noise. When Merlin reckons they are about a mile from the village they dismount. They're all wearing plain clothes, light leather armour, nothing to identify them, all but Merlin have a sword. Merlin takes them towards the village through a small copse of trees. They stop and he uses his magic. The buildings of the village are intact but there is no one around. He can't see any corpses, but there are some doors off of their hinges and there are animals wandering around unattended. They're watching, debating whether to get closer when Merlin sees something. From their location Arthur and the knights can only see that someone has emerged from one of the houses. But Merlin can see clearer and breaks cover running towards the village. 

"Merlin!" shouts Arthur, jumping up to follow. But Merlin doesn't respond just keeps running, arms pumping before he almost charges into the woman in the middle of the village. Arthur can just see her face over Merlin's shoulder as he catches up. It's Hunith and she's petrified. 

"You shouldn't have come!" he hears Hunith say, but it's too late. 

"Merlin!" says Arthur warningly. But it's too late. Just as Gwaine and Percival barrel in behind Arthur, doors are being slammed open. Soldiers, Lot's soldiers emerge from huts all around the village and surrounding them. Arthur has his sword drawn before he even realises it, and Gwaine and Percival aren't far behind. But the soldiers stay in formation around them, waiting. A few moments later they hear a horse. Arthur turns, circling around so that he's between Merlin and Hunith and the new arrival. It's Lot.

"Do my eyes deceive me? This was almost too easy. Arthur Pendragon wanders into my lands, straight into my hands guarded only by two knights and a serving boy? Really? You were that predictable. You'd be a terrible cards player, Arthur. You know I didn't believe them when they first told me. That all I'd need to capture Camelot would be to threaten a peasant woman. But here we are."

"What do you want?" asks Arthur, his sword still raise, his left hand reassuring himself that Merlin is behind him. 

"Well I thought that would have been obvious, Camelot." says Lot condescendingly. There's a murmur of mocking laughter from the soldiers. 

"So you're going to kill me" says Arthur.

"Well, yes of course." another murmur of laughter. 

"Then why don't you do it?" asks Arthur, stepping forward a little. 

"Because I'm not a fool. If I kill you here then you will be a martyr for your people. A symbol for their inevitable resistance. However, if I march you back in chains at the head of my army, make you beg for my mercy, renounce the throne, then execute you?" Lot shrugs smugly. 

"I will die before I beg for your mercy" says Arthur raising his sword a little. 

"So predictably noble." says Lot, laughing, but then he's urging his horse forward just a few steps. 

"But how long will your nobility last when the knife is at you lover's throat?"

"My lover?" asks Arthur confused. 

"It's a bit to late to pretend you don't care for the boy, Pendragon." With a realisation that makes his skin crawl Arthur realises Lot's talking about Merlin, just as the soldiers surge forward to seize them.


	13. Chapter 13

For a moment all is a blur and then Lot and the soldiers in front of Arthur are thrown violently backwards. Merlin has pushed in front of him and has his arms raised. Gwaine and Percival are managing to hold off those behind and Arthur's mind is racing. But he doesn't have time to think about any thing now.

"Archers!" yells Lot, crawling to his feet using his horse for support. Suddenly on the surrounding roofs archers appear. Merlin raises his hands again, muttering something that Arthur doesn't understand and suddenly the bowmen are dropping, or in some cases throwing, their bows away as they suddenly burst into flame. 

"Sorcerers!" yells Lot climbing back onto his horse. A small group of lightly dressed men step forward, their hands raised in a similar way to Merlin, and they start speaking but Merlin suddenly drops to his knees and lays his hands on the ground. It feels like a pulse radiates from Merlin, it doesn't hurt Arthur or the knights or Hunith, but it knocks over most of Lot's soldiers and makes Lot's horse rear up and Lot is flung from his horse a second time. 

"Come on!" yells Arthur, grabbing Merlin and they run for their own horses. They make it as far as a field just outside the village with Lot and his soldiers not far behind when Merlin stops, turns, shouts something in a deep voice Arthur barely recognises and then waves his hand in front of his face. Arthur wonders what's going on until a blazing line of fire draws itself across the field, stopping Lot and his army in their tracks. Arthur and the band stop for a minute so that Hunith can catch her breath.

"I can see why you like him, Arthur! But one good sorcerer won't save you! I'd run, little king, if I were you! My army will be at your gates by sun down!" 

Arthur wants to shout something back, but there isn't any point trading insults with Lot. So he turns to keep running. They only get a few steps before he realises Merlin is standing exactly where he was before. Arthur runs back.

"Come on, Merlin!"

"No, I'm staying here, I'll hold them back!"

"No you will not."

"Arthur, I can stop them."

"You can also get yourself killed, now do as your king orders you, Merlin!" It's the first time he's given Merlin a proper order since the curse.

"Arthur, this is the best way..."

"And I am your king and I said get walking!" he physically pushes Merlin now, and Merlin looks at him a moment before finally giving in and turning to run with them. After a few minutes they are back in the clearing, mounting up. Percival helps Hunith up onto Merlin's horse behind Merlin and soon they are on their way back to Camelot. They start off riding fast and Arthur likes the quiet. Well it's a kind of quiet. There's the thundering sound of hooves and air rushing past your ears, but it's not words. It's like the blur of the world outside cocoons him in an envelope and the sounds of hooves are just like a loud heart beat. It's like he has space to think. Think about how he might be within hours of losing his kingdom, of failing Camelot. About how stupid he was to trust the letters, to not question them just because he recognised the name of the sender. To think about how soon he might be a head on a post as a warning to his own people. How he will probably die still not knowing why Merlin couldn't talk to him. But when he lets himself think of Merlin he finds himself turning on instinct to check that Merlin is still there, that he's okay. Merlin's still there, although now he's frowning at Arthur questioningly. Arthur feels his face redden and he turns back round, but his horse has already slowed, and all the others slow with it

"We need to slow down now, or the horses will tire before we reach Camelot." he says. And it's true, but that's not why he turned around. Now they've slowed they walk on in silence for a while. And Arthur can't resist the urge to keep turning round and checking Merlin is still with them. Why did he want to stay behind anyway? Doesn't he know Arthur needs him? He may not be Arthur's lover, but they are, or were close friends. Why would Lot think they were lovers anyway? Do people in Camelot think they're lovers? Do the knights? He turns to check on Merlin again. What does Merlin think? Is he disgusted? Merlin frowns and looks away. Is Arthur himself disgusted? The thought hasn't occurred to him before. He'd never considered it an option. Merlin's a manservant. Just a manservant, except that he isn't. He glances back again and Merlin's brow is furrowed in confusion his eyes questioning Arthur. Arthur looks at the other knights, they are watching him too. He turns back, his chest tight. He thinks about how he feels about other servants, say George. George is polite and efficient and helpful and frankly his brass jokes are scary. He can cope with him, in short doses. He thinks about the knights, they're loyal and brave and like brothers too him. But Merlin, Merlin is messy and annoying and cheeky. And Arthur knows with a clarity that feels like an arrow to the heart that Merlin means more to him than anyone else.


	14. Chapter 14

Arthur knows that riding back to Camelot to defend it against an invading army is not the time for a heartfelt confession of his feelings to Merlin. Besides the practicality of it, he doesn't know what he'd say. He knows Merlin means more to him than any one, but what does that mean? Is it just close friendship? Is he in love? He's never considered the possibility he could be in love with Merlin, but suddenly so many incidents, so many looks and touches and jests could be cast in a new light. Does that mean Merlin feels the same? Is he in love with Arthur? No, whatever he was before, he can't be now. Not after how Arthur has acted. Arthur lowers his head. Merlin is loyal, but Arthur doesn't deserve anything more.

"We need to get moving." says Arthur turning round again. Merlin and the knights nod and they race on again. As they approach Camelot, leaving the woods Arthur halts his horse. They are entering farmland, small villages litter the land before them all the way to the walls of Camelot, all in the way of Lot's approaching army.

"Gwaine, Percival, I need you to head out to all the farmsteads. Tell them to head into the city as immediately!" The two knights nod then head off quickly. Arthur urges his horse on and hears Merlin do the same. He needs to concentrate now, or both he and Merlin might not see tomorrow. There must be something more he can do, some other force he can call on. But he hasn't got time to call on any allies for aid. His new recruits, even those with magic are barely trained, won't stand against Lot's army. 

"What are we going to do?" asks Merlin. Arthur hadn't heard him approaching he'd been so deep in thought. 

"I don't know." says Arthur honestly.

"I could go back and..." Arthur doesn't wait for Merlin to finish.

"You are not going anywhere."

"Arthur, I have magic, I can..." insists Merlin.

"I don't care, you are not going!"

They carry on for a little while in silence. In the distance Camelot is becoming clearer, shinning white in the sun, seemingly unaware of the fate that awaits it. On it's turret the Pendragon flag, the gold dragon resplendent on a red background unfurls defiantly in the wind. At least for now it is in it's rightful place. But what can he do to... Arthur pulls his horse up sharply. Merlin stops just ahead of him, turning to look at Arthur confused. 

"Merlin, you can command the dragon." he says bluntly. A look of panic crosses Merlin's face. Hunith buries her head into Merlin's back. 

"Arthur, I didn't order him to attack Camelot. He'd been held prisoner, I didn't know..."

"Merlin, shut up! You can command the dragon to attack Lot and his army!" understanding dawns on Merlin's face.

"Yes, I can." Arthur nods stiffly. The idea of aligning with this creature, a former enemy doesn't sit well with him. But it sits better than Lot on Arthur's throne, driving his people into the ground and mounting their heads on spikes. Alongside Arthur's. And Merlin's. He shakes his head to try and dismiss the image. 

"Then summon i/t" he tries to sound confident, although he has to admit the idea of seeing the creature that would have gladly razed his city to the ground does put him on edge.

"Him, summon him. Are you sure?" asks Merlin raising an eyebrow and watching Arthur carefully. 

"Of course, Merlin." 

"Okay" says Merlin, shrugging. But there's a hint of a smile, a tease. 

"Shut up, Merlin." says Arthur. But there's a smile with that too, because Merlin's being himself for the first time in a long while. 

"Kilgarrah!" shouts Merlin and Arthur looks at him, raising both his eyebrows. 

"Do you realise how stupid you look shouting at the sky?" Merlin turns to glare at him for a moment then turns to look around. In the distance Arthur spies what at first looks like a bird, but soon becomes a lot bigger, it's wings more bat like. Arthur hears muffled and distant screams as the dragon draws closer and drops down in the field of cows beside them. To the cows credit, they simply turn and look at it with mild disdain then carry on eating. Arthur is less easy.

"You summoned me, young warlock." says the dragon.

"It talks." says Arthur to Merlin, his eyes not moving from the dragon. 

"Yes I do, Uther's son." says the dragon, regarding Arthur disapprovingly. 

"Kilgarrah, Lot is going to invade Camelot. We need your help. You must attack his army..."

"You ask a lot young warlock!" interrupts the dragon.

"You would ask me to defend this kingdom! To defend the son of the man who imprisoned me, who slaughtered my kind!"

"It is his destiny! You told me so yourself!" shouts Merlin, angrily. 

"It is his destiny to fulfil, not mine!"

"I am the last dragonlord! You cannot refuse me!" 

"Merlin." says Arthur, warningly. 

"What?" demands Merlin, turning to face him.

"Don't... don't order him." Merlin frowns.

"We can't, you can't. Merlin, remember what happened when I ordered you to do something against your will." Merlin frowns,

"Then what do we do?" he asks. Arthur glances back to Camelot and thinks. There must be something, some way...

"A compromise." he says, an idea beginning to form.

"What do you suggest, young Pendragon?"

"A show of strength. If Lot thinks you will fight for us, sees Merlin ordering you to attack and you fly at his army, his army might desert him."

"What makes you think it will be that easy?"

"I'm not sure it will, but Lot rules by force and by fear. His soldiers march because they fear him more than they fear my army. He impales his enemies' heads on spikes and orders the decimation of whole villages. If it is only fear that drives them on, then fear might drive them back." 

"And what is it that drives your knights, Arthur Pendragon?"

"Loyalty. And love of their king." says Merlin firmly. Arthur turns to him. Merlin's wearing that look that scares Arthur. The one that says Merlin believes in Arthur absolutely and completely. So much more than Arthur believes in himself. He's so scared of letting him down. 

"And if it fails?" asks the dragon. 

"If it fails then you need not fight. I and everyone who remains loyal to Camelot will fight to defend her. If it is our destiny to triumph, we will." Arthur knows he doesn't sound convincing, but it's something. 

"I agree to this compromise. I will be your 'show of strength' so long as I need not fight. And, young king, I suggest you begin to prepare. Lot's army is only hours away."


	15. Chapter 15

Arthur and Merlin race back into Camelot. The first thing is to inform Leon and the others about how close Lot's army is and get every able body in Camelot roused and armed. Arthur rushes to the armoury and Merlin helps him dress. He insists that Merlin wear a light chain mail. He doesn't want him anywhere near the fighting, wishes he could order him away, but he knows Merlin will not leave him and frankly having a sorcerer might prove useful. Especially one as powerful as Merlin. That doesn't dampen his worry. At least the armour might help. As soon as they're ready they head out into the castle courtyard where frightened men and boys are running around, anxiously adjusting armour and talking in hushed voices. Arthur runs over to the steps and jogs up them, turning to face the crowd. After a moment they notice and turn to face him. They had felt abandoned, they still feel overwhelmed.

"Soldiers of Camelot! Lot's army will be with us within a few hours! I know how afraid you all are! They are many and we are few! They seem better equipped! But they fight for fame and glory or out of fear or hate! We fight for Camelot! We fight for our homes! And our friends! And those we love!" his eyes can't help resting on Merlin, who is watching him with that same look of devotion as before.

"We have loyalty and honour and we have right on our side! I know that every man here is worth ten, a hundred of Lot's soldiers! I know that because I know that all of you would fight to the last man, to your last breath to defend Camelot!

Lot rules a land where people live in fear, where people live as he wills, and die as he wills. He thinks that a king's job is to make everyone else work to make him great. But I know now that a kings job is not to order and dictate. A kings job is to ensure the freedom of his subjects. To make sure our kingdom is a just place, a safe place for all who want to live and thrive in peace. So I know what all of you will do! I know you will be brave and strong! I know you will stand together with me against this king who thinks we are just another conquest. So go now! Ready your armour and your weapons! All women and children will be moved into the citadel, all able bodied men prepare to fight!"

Arthur runs down the steps as the men cheer. It's still a little restrained, but it's helped steel some of them for what's coming. It's the best he can do now. He runs over to Merlin, whose still beaming, but he becomes sterner when he sees Arthur's face. 

"I hope that dragon of yours is convincingly scary. Because I'm not sure we stand a chance..."

"Well, we'll soon see." says Merlin,

Suddenly someone's shouting.

"Lot's army! We can see them!" Arthur and Merlin mount up and head straight for the city wall. There they can see Lot's army forming up in the distance. They are a formidable force, archers and pike men and knights. Below them the last of the outlying farmers are running through the city gates clutching small bundles of their few meagre belongings.

"As soon as they're in, close the gates! Where's your dragon?" he says turning to Merlin.

"Kilgarrah!" The dragon appears quickly, rising up from behind the city. He stands next to the city wall, almost at a height with Merlin and Arthur.

"What is your biding, dragon lord?" asks the dragon, almost sarcastically.

"Go and... please go and be as menacing at Lot's army as possible." says Merlin, awkwardly. He turns to Arthur after he's said it. Arthur rolls his eyes. But as he turns to watch Lot's army just the sight of the dragon is having an impact. They're restless, he can see soldiers turning and looking at each other, looking around. Maybe wondering whether to break ranks.

"As you command, young warlock." The dragon leans back on his haunches and launches himself upwards. With a few powerful wing beats which ruffle Arthur's cape, he's in the air and bearing down on Lot's army.

For a moment the front line holds and then it fractures, large sections breaking away and dispersing into the forest. Arthur hears the roars of triumph from the castle walls and turns beaming to Merlin. He's fighting the urge to take Merlin's head in his hands and kiss him, right here in front of the whole of Camelot. And he wouldn't care, but Merlin would. So he slaps Merlin encouragingly on the shoulder instead and it seems to him a look like a cloud across the sun passes across Merlin's face. But then the cheering dies down and there's movement on the battlefield. The dragon has thrown fire around and made generally dangerous noises, but now he's flying off and Lot has rallied a force. It's not nearly as big and they're all clearly shaken. But it's big enough. It'll still take all the might of Camelot to defeat it.


	16. Chapter 16

"Merlin, is there anything you can do?" asks Arthur, looking at the army reassembling in the distance.

"I... I could but..."

"But?"

"I could kill them, all of them... but..." Merlin looks scared, daunted.

"You're not sure?"

"No, I'm sure I could. But... Arthur please don't ask me to do this. I know it would save time and men but..." Arthur can see the panic Merlin is feeling written on his face. He's not sure he understands, Merlin has the chance to end this before it's started. 

"If you want me to, I'll do it. But you must order me. I can't choose to do this. No one should have that much power." And now, as Arthur turns to look out over the battlefield, he thinks he understands. Merlin has the capability, the power to hold out his hands and hundreds of men will drop dead. That's not a battle, it's a slaughter. And Merlin will be a monster. And every time he walks out of the city gates all he'll see is the ghosts of all of these men. 

Who knows why they're here. Out of fear, out of a false sense of honour or glory. Because they were ordered to. To die without a fair fight, a fair chance. 

"What about just one? Just Lot?" Merlin thinks about it for a moment then nods his head. He raises his hands and mutters something and then his eyes flash with a brilliant gold. Arthur's too busy watching them and misses the lightening strike. There are muffled shouts and screams from Lot's army. But as Arthur turns to watch, Lot is still astride his horse. Another lightening bolt reigns down and another. All seem to hit close to Lot but don't hit him. Lot's horse seems dismayed but Lot barely moves. Another lightening bolt lands and strikes down a soldier to Lot's right. Arthur hears the strangled noise Merlin makes. That wasn't the plan. Then Merlin changes tactic and the ground around Lot is churning, like it's boiling. Clumps of mud and turf are thrown up into the air as if someone was digging all around Lot. But Lot remains still. Merlin drops his hands in dismay.

"I can't. He's got some kind of protection spell around him. I can't hurt him and I can't lift him." Arthur hangs his head. The man has sorcerers and he knows now that Merlin has magic. He wasn't going to be defeated that easily.

"Can you lift the spell?" he asks, although he can see the frustration in Merlin's face. 

"If I can take out the sorcerer or sorcerers casting it." says Merlin without enthusiasm. And now they're back to square one. Lot's army is a mass of people. The sorcerer or sorcerers could be anyone in any part of the army. From here they have no way of telling. 

"It's okay, Merlin. You've done what you can. I will ride out. Camelot will meet Lot honourably. In battle."

"I'll ride with you." insists Merlin.

"You don't need to prove your bravery to me, Merlin. "

"I won't leave you. Not again." Arthur can't help the swell in his chest at those words. 

"Thank you, Merlin."

\---

As Arthur finishes adjusting the saddle on his horse he sense Merlin beside him. He's 

"Be careful, Arthur."

"You too." He can't resist the urge to pat Merlin on the shoulder, then pull him in for a quick one armed hug. Then whispers. 

"Stay alive, Merlin. For me. Please." he knows he sounds like he's begging. No, there's no sounds like. He is begging. Merlin has magic but so does Lot, somewhere. One stray arrow, one soldier Merlin doesn't notice and that could be it. He pulls away and Merlin is looking at him strangely. But there isn't any time. 

"They're advancing!" comes a shout from the wall. 

"Mount up!" shouts Arthur. And he puts his helmet on and mounts up himself. And behind him forms a formidable column. His knights' armour shines in the sun and they all look resolute. Waiting to march out behind the ramshackle infantry don't look as fearful as before. Now that there is something to be done. So he urges his horse on, and someone opens the city gates ahead of him and the sunlight shines through revealing Camelot's glorious countryside. And the huge army that sits on the other side of the field. For a moment Arthur's stomach drops.

"You're not alone, Arthur." says Merlin, sensing his feelings.

"I know. Thank you. Form up!" shouts Arthur, turning to the knights. And they form up. And then Arthur's pulling his visor down and they're charging. After that it's a blur, a rush. One minute they're charging and the next they're in amongst soldiers and cavalry and there's a lot of clanging of swords and shouting and screams. He's knocked from his horse, then he's fighting one person, then another and another and soon enough he's face to face with Lot and Lot is skilled and clever and strong. But when it comes to fighting so is Arthur. He barely has time to think about one move before he's defending against another. But then Lot catches him off guard and Arthur is thrown to the ground. A deafening roar fills the battlefield and Lot looks up, his face contorted with frustration. In that split second Arthur takes the opportunity to kick Lot's legs from under him. Then Arthur is on top of him and before he has the chance to think about whether it's right or wrong to kill him, Lot is dead below him. He clambers up from his knees, putting his weight on the sword he has plunged into Lot.

He turns around to see what distracted Lot. Behind him the dragon has reappeared and Lot's army are fleeing. The dragon's return and the shouts quickly circulating about Lot's death have dissolved his army in minutes and now they are fleeing the battlefield in droves. Few stay to fight and they are easily outnumbered and dispatched. 

But why has the dragon returned? Arthur turns, looking around him. He can't see Merlin, but then the battlefield is filled with people and littered with bodies. So he strives forward. If Merlin will be anywhere it will be with the dragon. Maybe he summoned him. Maybe his courage broke and he ordered the dragon to attack. But as he gets closer his heart beats faster. There's a body lying on the floor in front of the dragon. It's wearing a simple chain mail shirt and has coal black hair. And even at this distance he's almost certain he knows who it is.

"Merlin!"


	17. Chapter 17

Arthur is rushing forward, pushing people out of the way, uncaring. He feels like he's trying to run through water or maybe even honey. Time seems to be flowing incredibly slowly and his blood is rushing in his ears obscuring any other sound. He's trying to see clearer. The figure on the floor isn't moving. The dragon looms over it and leans forward and Arthur thinks he's going to eat him. Arthur is so close now and he's trying to draw his sword, but it's behind him, wedged into Lot's chest. It's too late to go back so he just throws himself in front of the dragon.

"Leave him alone!"

"Be calm, young king. Merlin is alive." says the dragon calmly. Arthur regards him suspiciously before turning slowly around. Merlin is lying motionless on his side, his face looks pained. Arthur kneels to look closer. There's a cut on his head, which is bleeding quite profusely. Not a likely wound from a dragon attack he has to be honest, more likely a blow to the head. He brushes Merlin's forehead, then shakes Merlin lightly.

"Merlin, Merlin can you hear me?" For a few moments Merlin remains motionless and then Arthur shakes him a little more forcefully and Merlin's eyelids flutter open and he's groaning. He moves to sit up, but promptly turns onto his hands and knees and is violently sick.

"What happened?" asks Arthur, worriedly when Merlin has stopped. For a moment Merlin stays as he is, breathing deeply, still on hands and knees. Then he turns to sit back down, his face pained.

"I was trying to set fire to the battering ram..."

"Battering ram?" says Arthur raising his eyebrows and looking around. A few metres away he sees a large burning log.

"Ah, it looks like you succeeded."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't paying attention and I didn't notice the soldier who smacked me with the blunt end of his sword. He was just about to take my head off when Kilgarrah..." Merlin comes to a halt looking pale.

"When the dragon?" asks Arthur, studying Merlin with concern.

"I can't believe you actually ate him!" he says glaring at the dragon, then bracing himself like he's going to be sick again. 

"I was hungry." states the dragon matter-of-factly.

"Seriously?" says Arthur, turning to the dragon, his nose screwed up in disgust.

"No. Men taste revolting, like bone and metal. I was saving Merlin. But I don't have a sword. Chewing seemed the quickest option." says the dragon with disdain.

"Why did you come back?" asks Merlin, almost clinging to the grass below him to ground himself, trying not to be sick again.

"It wasn't your destiny to die today, young warlock. Don't think this was to help anyone but you." says the dragon matter of factly and then he's turning and crouching.

"Thank you, Kilgarrah." shouts Merlin as the dragon launches itself into the air.

\---

Merlin insists he's fine and Arthur quickly organises the clearing of the battlefield. The battle was short lived and most of the bodies that appeared to litter the ground are actually injured and shocked soldiers and most not dangerously. Merlin helps Gaius tend to them, Arthur helping with stretchers and organising rooms and knights and soldiers. By the evening he's back in chambers, still in his armour, sitting watching the fire crackling, thinking about the day he's just had. Thinking about Merlin. He's called from his thoughts by Merlin walking into the chamber without knocking. Arthur smile's because that's as it should be. He gets up and walks over to stand so that Merlin can help him out of his armour. As Merlin works Arthur studies him, studies his face. 

"Are you sure your head's okay?" he asks . He knows it's over the top but Merlin's cut looks angry and bruised.

"Gaius has already looked at it, he says it's fine." says Merlin almost rolling his eyes.

"I'm glad. I was worried, you know, when..."

"Arthur please." says Merlin pausing. His eyes are closing in pain and he's turning his face away from Arthur.

Arthur frowns, but is quiet. He shouldn't let his feelings show so openly. It's not Merlin's fault he doesn't share them.

"I'm sorry. I know you're not trying to... I know you don't mean to..." says Merlin, flustered.

"No... you're right. I shouldn't... make you uncomfortable. It won't happen again." 

For a while Merlin carries on untying Arthur's armour. Arthur tries not to look at Merlin, tries not to let it show on his face how much his heart is breaking, but he can't help it when a tear rolls down his face. Merlin pauses where he's taking off Arthur's breast plate. Then he's placing it down beside him.

"Arthur, you're crying." says Merlin, and there's concern in his voice.

"I'm sorry." he says quietly, still not trusting himself to look up at Merlin. 

"Why are you crying?" asks Merlin quietly. There's an emphasis on the 'you'. Arthur looks up. Merlin is looking at him with real concern and confusion.

"You know why." he says frowning.

"Tell me." pleads Merlin, stepping a little closer.

"Because I ruined everything. And you don't love me." It feels so vulnerable, and so strange. He only realised he loved Merlin yesterday, but he knows he's loved him for a lot longer.

"You love me?" asks Merlin. And he's so close to Arthur, and his voice doesn't sound upset or disgusted. Arthur looks up. Merlin's eyes look bright and happy. Then, before Arthur can ask why he's smiling at Arthur's heartbreak, Merlin is leaning forward and pressing his lips gently to Arthur's. It doesn't last more than a few seconds. Then Merlin's pulling away looking shy.

"I thought you hated me." says Arthur, because this is really confusing. 

"I tried to. I was confused and upset and somewhere between being really angry at you and really wanting to forgive you I realised I loved you." Now it's Merlin's turn to go red.

"That's why I tried to stay away. I thought if I didn't see you every day I might get over you. But I missed you so much." Arthur leans forward to kiss Merlin. Because he can, and then he wraps his arms around him and holds him for a while. Because he can.

"You are such an idiot!" he says finally, pulling away.

"Excuse me?" says Merlin.

"What kind of logic was that? You realised you love me, so you decided to hate me instead and then ignore me!"

"I was in love, Arthur, I wasn't being logical!" returns Merlin. 

"Do you realise how worried I was! All this time! I thought it was something important!" says Arthur with mock indignation. 

"Oh, well if I'm not that important..." says Merlin stepping away and acting offended. Arthur drags him back in for a tight embrace.

"Shut up, Merlin." he says, before kissing Merlin emphatically. When they part Merlin is smiling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations if you made it through this monster. This turned out so much longer than anticipated. I hope you enjoyed it. As always I love crit. I will be going through all my works soon to re-edit them, including this so if you think of anything/ notice any typos etc, please do let me know!! 
> 
> P.s. I'm such a sucker for a smooshy ending so I'm sorry if that's not your thing.

**Author's Note:**

> I always love feedback. If you love it or hate it, think character are good, bad or ugly! Cookies for comments!! (virtual only I'm not that good with cooking and they don't post well)


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